life lessons · personal

The art of dealing with disagreements

Hello, everyone! I would like to share something today.

I had a fight with one of my best friends and I actually feel good about it. I know it sounds weird but frankly, it was liberating. Actually, it made me realize there are a few things which we all are collectively doing wrong. I called up my friend with the intention of clearing things out with her (starting the argument actually) because I feel if you are close to a person you should be able to talk to them about the things they do, knowingly or unknowingly, which hurt you in some way.

It is always better to point out that thing then and there rather than bottling it up within you. It is not fair to you and neither that person.  That just creates more problems, negativity would come eventually and that is the not the kind of person you want to become.

I think it is a natural human tendency to dodge problems rather than tackling them. We tend to avoid the topic until it becomes unavoidable. We don’t talk to someone about what we are feeling until that is all that we are able to feel.

Don’t wait for the other person to call. Do it yourself.

Take initiative. Even though you might be thinking that you don’t want to hurt the feelings of that person but trust me, if you really care about them, you should tell them the things which they do wrong. They might not know that they are doing it and you pointing that out would only help them. And if not this then, do it for yourself. Be selfish. If something is troubling you then get it off your chest. Why trouble yourself and those around you by spoiling your mood and ruining your peace.

So as I said, I called up my friend and told her my side of the story, about the things which I felt she did wrong. Then after conveying my feelings to her about the situation, I calmed down and asked her to explain things from her side then. After listening to her, I realized I was at fault too.

She too became aware where she went wrong and so did I. So we talked and in the end, we both felt better.

We both realized that if we did point out the things like, hey Anabhra! Now you’re being rude or hey Srishti! Now what you said is demeaning, then things wouldn’t have gotten as far as they did.

We both would not have lost our sleep over trivial matters which if dealt with at the right time would not have turned into arguments and fights.

There are differences between everyone but such is life. That is how we all are. Different. Unique. This is the essence which makes life interesting and worth living but sometimes this tends to cause disagreements.

Disagreements are unavoidable but there are different ways to handle it, a right way and a wrong way.

What we did was the incorrect one, keeping our thoughts to ourselves. My friend didn’t say that I am too taunting at times and I continued doing it unintentionally.

I didn’t say that she is being rude when she was being rude. And she continued saying inappropriate comments at odd times without realizing it. I called only when it got too much for me to handle. Why wait that long.

So I guess all I’m trying to say is,

  • Take initiative. Try to call or meet even if the other person did not ( I personally don’t like texting when it comes to serious discussions)
  • Don’t just talk. Listen as well. Maybe it is something that you did that triggered something. Whatever be the reason but we should always be ready to listen to others side of the story as well.
  • Don’t shy away from speaking out. I know it is in our blood to let things be the way they are and keep on dilly dallying. But don’t let yourself fall prey to this habit.

 

P.S- Things are better between us both now and we made a promise to work on our respective faults and continue irritating each other xD

Do tell me what you all think in the comment section, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Bye for now and stay blessed.

 

 

 

 

 

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16 thoughts on “The art of dealing with disagreements

  1. Well! I agree with your point.
    Better to discuss, if other person matters you and differences do exist, which one needs to accept.
    Bottling it up ends up ruining your mood and around you, true that.
    It is productive post.
    Keep coming up like this ones.
    Let me know your name buddy ☺

    Like

  2. You see am the same I don’t talk when something bother’s me i keep it inside of me till it kills me and that when I just burst out and that is not good I should learn to communicate more

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    1. Yes, all of us should work on it. When your pent up feelings do come out, they might turn a trivial disagreement into a huge argument which could have easily been avoided. I have made a conscious decision to communicate more and I wrote this post in the hope that others will too. ^_^

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree fully with you! I bottle up my emotions and it gets so hard to handle sometimes. It has become a habit, one I would like to change. Not long ago, I burst out at my friend because she isn’t really observant and understanding when it comes to feelings. I felt better, and she didn’t say anything when I was ranting to her. Guilty though I am of thinking this, but I feel relieved that she at least should know that I have feelings now. (this sounded better in my head)

    Like

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